


One Gift to Woo Them All

by Medianox



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 13:04:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16041038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medianox/pseuds/Medianox
Summary: Shuichi listened to Monokuma’s surefire dating advice and brought Kaede a gift. It’s not what she would have expected.





	One Gift to Woo Them All

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lara.](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Lara.).



> Contains one spoiler for Danganronpa 1, otherwise spoiler-free for V3.

Kaede had barely turned away from the door after Monokuma had shown up to be obnoxious yet again, when the doorbell rang once more. Ugh, what did the bear want now? Already pissed off, she pushed the handle down fiercely and yanked the door open.

However, the annoyed “Geez, enough already!” got stuck halfway through her throat and was instantly replaced by a fearful scream when she saw the huge, burly outline of a giant in her doorway.

The giant shouted back, clearly startled. It took a few steps back, which allowed her to see that it was actually a larger-than-average person with long, white hair. Scars were marring his skin, at least where it wasn’t covered by the sailor uniform he wore. No, wait… was that actually a girl?

“Ah! I’m sorry, Kaede! Are you alright?” came the panicked voice of Shuichi.

Oh. She hadn’t even seen him next to the large… girl?

“My apologies,” the stranger spoke up now, looking down at Kaede. She sounded sincere as she said, “I didn’t mean to startle you like this.”

Well, maybe she wasn’t so bad if you got over the initial shock of seeing her. Kaede smiled at her. “Ah, it’s okay, it was just unexpected.” Then, something occurred to her. “Wait a second, who are you?”

“My name is Sakura Ogami, it is nice to meet you.”

“Likewise! I’m Kaede Akamatsu,” she said, still confused. “Excuse me, but I thought we were the only ones in the academy. How did you get here?”

Sakura crossed her muscular arms in front of her chest. “That’s what I would like to know, too.”

Kaede’s eyes searched Shuichi for an explanation. The detective fidgeted. “Ah, let me explain. You see, there was… uhm…” He blushed, his hand wandering up to his cap to push it further down to cover his eyes. “Oh god, this is pretty stupid, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s alright,” she said, even though she had no idea what was even going on. “Just say it, I’m sure it’s fine.”

Steeling himself, he nodded and stood up a little straighter, but his cheeks were still pink and he didn’t meet her eyes. “I had… a strange dream last night.”

“…A dream?” she asked hesitantly. Maybe she had spoken too soon about it being fine. Maybe she didn’t want to know more about it, after all. Not if he was so flustered and nervous about it.

In the background, Sakura scratched her head in puzzlement, looking around the dormitory building. “Where is this, anyway?”

“Yes… it was about Monokuma. He was talking about romance and-”

“Ahh, Shuichi?” Kaede interrupted him quickly. Now she knew for certain that she didn’t want to know more about it. Honestly, she found it a bit disturbing (and a little… hurtful?) to hear him say that, but if he was into that, she wouldn’t judge him… too harshly. Still, she had to at least warn him. “Maybe it’s best if you keep that to yourself. And probably forget about it, too. I mean, usually this would be where I’d tell you that I’ll support you no matter what you choose, but, well, Monokuma is our enemy. And a robot bear. You really shouldn’t think about him like that…”

“Like what?” he asked.

“Huh?” Now she was confused. Especially since he seemed equally confused. “Wasn’t that what you meant?”

“What did I mean with what?”

She sighed. “Okay, maybe I jumped to conclusions. Sorry. Please, explain what you meant.”

Sakura, who had taken to leaning against the wall, apparently in deep thought, could be heard muttering to herself, “Wait, shouldn’t I be dead? I thought I’d killed myself…” They ignored her.

Shuichi cleared his throat. “Alright, so in my dream, Monokuma was talking about gifts.” He started blushing again. “Specifically, about… uhm… what to gift a girl, if you want to show her that you… well… like her?”

She stared at him. “…Okay? Go on?”

“He said that you could… you know… win any girl’s heart if you got her a pro wrestling group. So, I thought… Well, I didn’t exactly get a group, but…”

“Uhh…” She honestly didn’t know what to say to that.

“I’m sorry!” Shuichi said quickly. “I realize now how stupid that was! I mean, I don’t even know if you’d get along with her or-”

“Ah, no, that’s not the problem.” She looked at Sakura, who looked back a second later. Kaede took in the sight of her battle-hardened face, her eyes that sparkled in a pale blue, her powerfully built physique, clearly outlined under her shirt that didn’t seem to be made to contain so much muscle, not to mention her strong legs... Kaede smiled warmly. A funny feeling spread through her. “She seems nice.”

Then, realizing how weird she was acting, she held her hands up in front of herself to get a little space to think about this. “Wait, hold on a second. You’re telling me that you are… gifting me a pro wrestler because Monokuma told you so in a dream?”

“Yeah, pretty much?” Shuichi’s answer was very hesitant.

“Uh… you two realize that human trafficking is kind of illegal, right?” Sakura asked. Nobody acknowledged her.

“And you were intending to… win my heart like that?” Kaede asked for clarification, her voice incredulous.

Shuichi avoided her gaze. His face looked like it was burning. “I’m sorry, it was a bad idea. I should have known dating advice from Monokuma would never work.”

Kaede looked back at Sakura and the warm feeling of happiness came back full force at the thought that he had given her a pro wrestler… all for herself…

“Well,” she said, smiling sheepishly at him as she could feel her own cheeks heating up. “I never said anything about it not working.”

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you still wondering why Sakura is there, I’ve prepared multiple answers. Just pick your favorite:
> 
> 1\. Shuichi got her from the MonoMono Machine.  
> 2\. He helped Monokuma investigate which one of his cubs plundered his secret salmon supply and got a Neconomicon as thanks.  
> 3\. It’s actually the Imposter. (Don’t ask how _he_ got there.)


End file.
